Tuesday, July 31, 2012


The weasel: it went POP! Or maybe that's just what the song wants us to believe. Why are barbecue flavoured chips always in orange packets? I've never seen an orange barbecue. I've never seen a human vagina in person. Only in pornos and stuff. Sunflowers aren't nearly as hot as their name suggests. I love girls with freckles. Definitely underrated. I want to sit by the fireplace with a good book and maybe someone I love. Corsica? I forget what that means. You can frame anything and call it art. Roger Rabbit is art. Pelicans gulp a lot; don't they? Paper is defeated by scissors. Scissors are obliterated by rock. Paper covers rock, but personally, I think that's just impractical. Is a monkey that sleeps around a slut? Is anyone or anything a slut? What is a slut? Things that are occasional will quickly become habitual. I don't have a catchphrase. Who do you think I am? A fucking goofy caricature? A walking cliché? Optimal is one of those words that smarmy business types like to use. But sometimes they opt for optimum. Squishy is a disgusting word. You know what's squishy? Dog shit. I was a library monitor in primary school. It wasn't that thrilling. Fireman Sam: they should bring that show back. I don't care that I'm 19. I'd watch the shit out of it. Pie. Jason Biggs stuck his cock in one. But not really; it was a movie, you see? Some pies have meat inside. I like those pies the best. Have you ever eaten a pie that's SO good, it leaves you flabbergasted? Haberdashery is just a pretentious word that means 'men's clothing'. Snub is buns backwards.

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